Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Pope and Barack Obama

The Pope and Barack Obama are on the same stage in front of a huge crowd The Pope said, "Did you know that with just one little wave of my hand I can make every person in the crowd go crazy with joy? This joy will not be a momentary display but will go deep into their hearts, and they will forever speak of this day and rejoice."

Obama seriously doubts this, and says, "One little wave of your hand, and everyone in the crowd will go crazy with joy?... show me."

So the Pope slapped him!

New KFC dinner named for Obama cabinet

We all remember KFC's famous "Hillary Meal" - small breasts and big thighs.

Now, KFC has announced an addition to their chicken dinners. It's called the Obama Cabinet Bucket. It consists of nothing but left wings and assholes.

Barack Obama and God

Q: What's the difference between God and Obama?
A: God does not think he's Obama.

Q: What do God and Obama have in common?
A: Neither has a birth certificate.

TV networks renamed in honor of Obama

The national TV networks have decided to rename themselves to better reflect their changing role: New Barack Channel (NBC), All Barack Channel (ABC), Complete Barack Sympathizers (CBS), and don't forget My Seriously New Barack Channel (MSNBC)

- The liberals have asked us to give Obama time. 25 to life seems appropriate.

- Obama doesn't want terrorists tortured. He wants to torture American taxpayers instead.

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; "Have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?" "Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied. "I've been divorced three times, owned 2 Plymouths, and I voted for Obama."

FAQ: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?

Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?
A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?
A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One's full of tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society. The other is for prisoners.

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?
A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What's the difference between Simba and Obama?
A: Simba is an African lion while Obama is a lyin' African.

Q: If Pelosi and Obama were in a boat and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America !!

Q: What's the difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?
A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: Why doesn't Obama pray?
A: It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.