Sunday, October 17, 2010

Another Obama miracle!

One morning a man came into the White House on crutches. He stopped in front of a picture of Obama and then threw away his crutches.

A Secret Service agent witnessed the scene and ran into the Press room to tell Robert Gibbs what he had just seen.

“You’ve just witnessed a miracle!” Gibbs shouted. The journalists in the press room cry out, “Where is this man now?”

“Flat on his back over by the picture,” says the agent.

Obama caught with his teleprompter

Bill Clinton snuck through the door of the oval office and found Obama sitting at his desk with the teleprompter wearing a blue dress and positioned between his legs.

Clinton says, "What's going on here?!"

Shocked, Obama stood the teleprompter up, pulled the neck line down, and read, "It's not what you think."

Creepy Barack Obama is always ready for Halloween

Creepy Obama

Wow, pretty scary, eh kids?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Decoding TV Network Acronyms

NBC: New Barack Channel

ABC: Another Barack Channel

MSNBC: My Seriously New Barack Channel

CBS: Continuous Barack Show

More Obama Q&A

Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes?

A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.

Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment?

A: It stands between him and the First.

Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp?

A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.

Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama?

A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth.

Q: What's the difference between a large pizza and the typical Obama backer?

A: The pizza can feed a family of four.

Q: What's the difference between a zoo and the White House?

A: A zoo has an African lion and the White House has a lyin' African.

Q: What's the difference between Obama and Hitler?

A: Hitler wrote his own book.

Q: What's another difference between Obama and Hitler?

A: Hitler got the Olympics to come to his country.

Q: Why doesn't Obama pray?

A: It's impossible to read the teleprompter with your eyes closed.

Short message from Barack Obama in an airport restroom

In the washroom at the airport I saw a handwritten sign posted over one of those hot air hand dryers: "Please push button and listen for a short message from the President!"..........There's nothing like "hot air" and the smell of crap to give you that true Obama experience!!!!

Obama helps register Chicago voters

Like any corrupt Chicago politician, Barack Obama would frequently go the cemetery to register voters. One night he came across a grave so old and worn that he couldn't make out the name on the tombstone. The staffer holding the flashlight got impatient and suggested that they just move on to the next plot. Obama angrily exclaimed, "This person has as much right to vote as anyone else here!"